"One two, one two: mic check, one two!"
I was always fond of diaries, but I never found pen and paper to be all that intuitive because I was always prone to stopping midway through sentences and directing my trail of thought in another direction. Hardly a problem now that I have my first ever laptop (it’s become an entire noun unto itself: ‘my first ever laptop”), but crossing out sentence after sentence made for a very tedious writing experience. So, yeah: I’m now on my way to becoming infinitely more tech-savvy by catching up on all the laptop related wonders I missed out on growing up. Punctuality is important of course, but this step of progress really is better late than never.
It’s happened at just the right time, too. I’m 9 days away from moving to campus as I (finally) start uni, and I hope to bookmark this embarkment towards freedom by creating a space to mark and remember words I wish to share. I know very few people will be reading these posts, and I’m happy to keep it that way because I feel that anyone reading posts here would genuinely want to read the words that I want to share. That sentiment just really means a lot to me!
This summer has been the best I’ve ever had: the lights around me have a warmth I haven’t been able to appreciate for so long now. To me, memories are easiest remembered through two things: the music I discovered/enjoyed at the time, and how the lighting around me illuminated my surroundings. Of course, the latter seems objective from a literal point of view, but somehow the same lights look and feel different depending on the memory. Currently I just have a small desk lamp facing up, pointing towards the ceiling so the light illuminates the entire room. I used to do this all the time when I was studying for exams when I was 16, but back then the light felt really reassuring as if I was subconsciously telling myself to keep calm and not stress over the multitude of papers I had to sit across that two month period. Right now, that same light feels imbued with a different kind of warmth: almost celebratory in the way it marks the end of a long journey and illuminating the space that was my nighttime sanctuary for so many nights. This in itself is a snapshot I never wish to forget: Dempa music playing as I sit at the portable desk parked next to my bed, turning thoughts to text to my heart’s content whilst memories of years gone by shimmer back at me through the yellow light.
Dramatic? Yes. Comfy? Yes.
“Dreams really do come true?? WOW, CONGRATULATIONS!!”
So with this room being the previous metaphorical haven for myself, that title’s now transferred to this laptop I’m typing away at: there’s something so comforting about having a wallpaper featuring musicians you love, right?? Even though it’s just a 2D screen shining back at me, it feels like there’s an entire 3D space before me that I can cozily reside in, speaking aloud as my words embed themselves as pixels upon a computerised canvas. And what I love even more is being able to read words from others, too! So I hope this becomes a place for dialogue, both in the form of posts I’ve made and any responses you may have as a result!
In what colour does the sky shine above your head?
“How much does your pain hurt?”
These questions are asked in a song I’m particularly fond of, but I don’t agree with the answer given in the lyrics:
“Sad that I’ll never know, but I can imagine it.”
My answer is that I’ll always be here, hoping with each new day that we become a step closer to knowing all the answers to each other’s questions.