“Hey hey, come together!"

A week or two before leaving for uni, I got hit with a seriously rough illness and could barely do much all day: it thankfully passed before I arrived, but now I’ve been hit with an annoying cold and I’m just sneezing all the time now. It’s not as bad as the illness from before, but is it too much to ask for a month’s respite from being ill? I mean, I don’t even have the time to be ill!

Weekends are once again a Haven for me. Being able to wake up at midday/afternoon feels even more special when it’s an event reserved solely for Friday and Saturday night, so I guess paradoxically being busy has helped me enjoy sleep more.

I don’t know exactly how many people have been reading, or will read, this post. There’s only one person I know who’s consistently read and responded to them (and to them I say THANK YOUUU!), and of course that’s enough for me, but there’s always the part of me that hopes other people who I mentioned the blog to will have read it, either in past or future. For transparency’s sake: I shared the link to this blog with 7 people I know from Facebook, and 2 I know mainly from Discord. I’ve never met any of them in person, and yet at various points in my life from the past 3 years they’ve formed the entirety of my social life.

I sadly don’t talk to many of them, anymore. With all, bar one, it’s mostly the case of interacting from time to time when a post is shared or something. I find small talk impossible to navigate: there I am wanting to talk to someone whom I cherish having a connection with, so I find it impossible to limit myself to the bare minimum. It comes easier to others though, bizarrely. The one whom I have a different kind of bond with, in the present? Well, I’m grateful it’s part of a world without any notion of small talk.

I’m grateful to everyone for every small way they helped me but, at this very jarring next step of my life, I find my time so strained that it’s even more difficult to make time for short interactions that fizzle away time and time again. But maybe it’s the same case for others too, and small talk is the only thing available to keep a connection in place. If that’s the case then I’m grateful for the sentiment, but I feel we’re all destined for so much that we must inherently have the capacity for greater harmony and sync. It’s impossible for me to lose hope in that dream, and I thank those who understand that. It's as a certain special artist would say: “see you in the music”.

“Ain’t we a sorry sight?”

“You can say that again.”