“Tell you apart from the rest; who will let you be as you are?"

Being around other students hasn’t exactly fully alleviated the figurative and physical distance I’ve felt from social groups for the past three years. But it doesn’t bother me as much now. I’d get really upset about it in secondary school, but it seems less of a magnanimous void now and more a given constant. The dream of being close to others was there my entire life but the truth is that I already have those I’m grateful to be close to in my life. And yes, musicians I love listening to are people I connect to through experiencing their art, but more importantly: someone going out of their way to read this post of mine is a gesture so meaningful in itself that I of course already consider them to be someone I’m grateful to be close to. So: THANK YOUUUUUUUU!!!! I don’t ever feel alone, as a result. Those I care about are present in every moment I spend living and every thought that moves me. So: the song I’m listening to currently (GANKOITTETSU!)? It goes without saying that every emotion I feel in response to it, and every song in general, is thanks to knowing you and the memories I cherish as a result!

Since I also got my timetable for the rest of the term, and seeing how I’m busy 5 days a week with 5 hours of lectures each day, every second spent talking means even more to me as a result. I mean that was always the case but now, more than ever, my time’s become even more strained. Hence my gratitude has grown exponentially to those receptive to that.

I watched Evangelion 3.33 for the first time his week (I say “first time” as if I’ve already planned to watch it in future but I have no idea when the next time I watch it will be)! And contrary to lots of the criticism the film receives, I still adored the experience. Lots of times, confusing matters in Evangelion can be resolved by reading into them heavily, or by instead focusing on the ‘feeling’ the event/concept captures. Eva 3.33 is confusing with lots that it says but when I appreciate the feelings that events/scenes communicate, it makes it all so much clearer. And of course, I’m really glad Kaworu has a greater presence in this film too! I suppose I’m really fond of his character because of the way he symbolises unconditional love from a more powerful being: something I interpret as being a metaphor for being loved by the divine. He has a very simple yet memorable line in this film too: “There is hope. There is always hope.”. And while I also have this quote on one of the Evangelion t-shirts I got from Uniqlo, I really like the certainty in his voice as he says this. I mean in the context of the story, he’s a much older and more powerful being than most other characters, so it isn’t merely reassurance that his words embody, but a kind of wisdom too. And onto of all of that, it’s just a really special reminder too, don’t you think?